Starting a new relationship comes with all sorts of feelings. Getting to know someone intimately starts with knowing yourself and what you need from your partner so that you can set boundaries that you are both comfortable with. Setting sexual boundaries with your partner can feel awkward, especially during the pandemic. Stix is here to help make that conversation a little bit easier.

Understanding your Boundaries

The most important thing to remember when setting sexual boundaries is that no matter what they are, they need to be respected and your health and safety should always be put first. Everyone has sexual activities that they enjoy and some that they aren’t so comfortable with, so it’s important to get to know yourself and what those activities are for you.

Setting sexual boundaries looks different this year with COVID-19 and is even more important. With so much uncertainty surrounding the virus, staying informed and doing your research is essential. Stay up to date about the risk of COVID-19 in your area and use that information to weigh what you feel safe doing intimately. COVID-19 doesn’t directly spread from sex, but can easily be exchanged through saliva during intercourse. There are tons of resources that offer advice and information about practicing safe sex during the pandemic.

Communicating them to your partner

Once you have an idea of what you are and aren’t comfortable with sexually, it’s time to communicate your boundaries to your partner. This conversation doesn’t have to be awkward or intimidating, but rather a chance for you and your partner to better understand each other and offer mutual respect. 

Rather than thinking of it as a single serious conversation, make it more of a continuous dialogue between you and your partner, letting each other know what you need to feel safe. Always trust your gut and remember to respect your partner’s sexual boundaries the same as you respect your own.

Talking about your sexual boundaries should typically happen outside the bedroom in a neutral place without any expectations. If your partner did something during sex that you didn’t like, find the time afterward to express that to them and ask them not to do it again. Likewise, if there is something new you want to try in bed, communicate that to your partner beforehand. Consent is the most important thing at the end of the day, and neither you nor your partner should do something you aren’t comfortable with. 

Don’t be afraid to ask your partner if they have been vaccinated, if they practice social distancing, or if they’ve been exposed to anyone who recently tested positive for COVID-19. It’s more important now than ever to be on the same page about sexual boundaries with your health in mind. 

Getting to know yourself sexually takes time, but Stix is here to help. Head to the Stix Library for all things women’s health.