Everything you need to know before your next fling
The chatter about hot girl summer has started, which means one thing: summer flings are just around the corner. Rumor has it Taylor Swift is embracing her fun and flirty era after breakup with Joe Alwyn, as whispers about a romance with The 1975 singer, Matty Healy, are circulating on social media.
No one does a fling quite like Taylor, so we’re taking a page out of her (song)book and using this as an opportunity to chat about everything you need to know so you can dive head first, fearless into your next fling.
So what is a fling…
First, let’s DTR: a fling is generally a short-term romance or hook up or two people enjoying each other without the pressure of a long-term relationship. You may be exclusively seeing each other, or be dating other people. The essence of a fling signals that it is temporary, but proceed with caution as sometimes a fling can evolve into something more.
Why would you want a fling?
It’s important to be honest with yourself — if you’re looking for a more serious relationship, a fling may not be for you and it’s best to communicate what you’re looking for with the partner in question. However, there are so many reasons to indulge in a short-winded romance.
Taylor Swift’s rumored relationship with Matty Healy is exemplifying, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Flings can certainly help heal the heart and distract you while you’re moving on from another person. While it can be beneficial to heal from breakups on your own, it also can’t hurt to soften the blow by spending time with someone else.
Flings also offer the opportunity to enjoy someone without pressure of the future or where it’s going. They’re a great way to explore sexually and learn what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of in future relationships.
Plus, you can keep your single-girl independence while simultaneously spending time with someone you enjoy and exploring your sexuality: the best of both worlds. Flings can teach us how to live in the moment a bit more, something many of us are actively working on.
Lesson one: Open lines of communication are key
Keeping open lines of communication with a fling is essential. It’s important to make sure that you’re on the same page about what you want, how you see the relationship, if you’re seeing other people, etc. You should feel safe emotionally and physically with your fling. So be straightforward from the get go about what you want, and ask your partner to do the same.
As the fling progresses, don’t forget to communicate! Tell your partner what you like in bed, when you want to see them, and how you’re feeling about the situation. Ask that they return the favor.
Lesson two: Feelings may arise
This is why open and honest communication is KEY. If you begin to notice either one of you wanting something more out of the relationship, this is worth bringing up and re-evaluating to see if you’re still on the same wavelength!
If you have feelings, but your fling doesn’t want anything more out of the relationship, it might be time to break things off before you get hurt. Keeping other doors open during your fling and going on dates with other people can also prevent you from falling too hard too fast. Understanding your own communication style, wants, and needs is crucial.
On the flip side, if your partner is the one who catches feelings and you aren’t quite in the same headspace you should be honest with them.
Lesson three: A fling with an ex is not a fling. A fling with a friend is risky.
A fling with an ex… well, that defeats the purpose of a fling. Engaging in a fling with someone you’ve had strong feelings for will almost undoubtedly open up old wounds and prevent you from moving on. Flings are meant to be fun, flirty, and not too serious. We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this seldom works well with an ex.
A fling with a friend can be fun, but it can also create very blurred lines and boundaries, and result in permanent damage to your friendship. Imagine seeing your friend/fling months down the road with someone else (and let’s be honest, this is a very likely scenario.) If you’re set on having a fling with your friend, it is best to set boundaries beforehand.
Lesson four: Definitelyyy have a stock of condoms
When indulging in a fling, safe sex should be top of mind. Condoms significantly reduce your risk of STIs and pregnancy. And let’s be real, nothing would be a bigger buzzkill to your summer fun. We suggest always carrying your own condoms because nothing ruins the mood like a hookup stopped dead in its tracks.
So carry on, Taylor and Matty. We hope you’re having fun.