Want to know how to incorporate self-care into your sex life? Self-care is very trendy these days, and we’re into it. There’s a lot out there on how to incorporate self-care as part of your daily routine (hello essential oils), but how about incorporating self-care into your sex life?

Whether you have a partner or you’re goin’ solo, you deserve an empowering and luxurious sex life. And no matter what your sex life looks like, you can always be doing more to take care of yourself.

We talked with some members of the Stix community to learn what helps them take care of themselves during sex. Here’s what we learned:

Open, honest communication during sex

Can we get a standing ovation for that remark? Tell your partner what you like, what you don’t, and what you need more of. If you’re goin’ at it solo, be real with yourself about your own needs and honor them.

Extra lube is always a good idea

Invest in natural lube that works best for your body — it might take a few different purchases to land on one you love. Check out Lola and Sustain for starters (+1 for women-owned businesses!).

Take time to debrief after sex

Be honest with yourself and your partner about how the sex was and what you loved. Positive reinforcement works wonders. In the same vein, be honest about what you didn’t love, especially with a new partner. Evaluate what you want that you aren’t getting, and then go out and get those things.

Don’t compromise on a great vibrator

Not sure where to acquire one or feel uncomfortable doing so? We’re a huge fan of woman-owned sex shops. Nothing’s better than a non-judgmental, safe space where you can ask an expert all the intimate questions. If you feel uncomfortable talking to a human about this, bring along an adventurous friend to lead the way.

Take care of yourself before you get down

If shaving makes you feel sexy, then do it. If putting body oil on does the trick, go for it. A nice, hot shower and a glass of your favorite drink can go a long way. You get the gist.

Only have sex when you want to

This might sound obvious, but if you’re only doing it to please a partner then you won’t fully enjoy it. Consent is sexy, and we hope you are honoring your desires!

How do you take care of yourself in the bedroom? Comment your tips below.